Hi Easy,
Having just installed a plate exchanger for my DHW, last weekend, I was very recently in your shoes. At first I was doing some soul-searching (as well as OWFI.com searching) and finally came to the conclusion that I wanted to install a plate style heat exchanger. My next dilemma was size (20 or 30 plate).
After reading all the posts I could on this site, and hearing guys state things like " a 20 plate will make all the hot water you want", I decided to take a stab at a 20 plate (make sure it's a 5"x12". Let me say that those guys were right and a 20 plate will do all that I want and then some. I have mine set up such that the exchanger is located before the tank for buffering reasons. Note that I do not have a mixing valve. I control the water temperature coming off the exchanger by controlling the flow of water going to the exchanger on the boiler side.
With a plate exchanger, the potable water side only goes through the exchanger one time and the temperature you get on the exit side is what you get. I guess you could hook one up with a pump and have it act like a side arm. With a sidearm, the potable water either by convection or forced via pump, goes through the exchanger many times. It needs to do this due to the fact that the heat transfer rate is not as significant as a plate setup. This is the reason why sidearm (non pump setups) need a "recovery" period and are more prone to temperature fluctuations.
Anyway, I've rambled on enough.
Hope this helps,
Cando