I would leave diffirential a 10 degrees. Even though your fire isnt""look like its burning" it is still smoldering.. Thats the beauty of these stoves. With your diff at 2 degrees you gotta be going through a ton of wood.. you should have no issue at all heating your home and your DHW.. I have alot more demand than your calling for and have endless hot water and heating 3000 Sq ft. plus a 1000 sq ft garage. Never have any issues with keeping the house at 74 garage at 70.. and five person family taking really long showers. What do you have for a pump? How many feet of head? How far is furnace from your home? 1" pex? Well insulated? Alot of variables...
My stove is set at 175 year around with a 10 deree diff. I worried at firs it wasnt staying burning,, but dont worry as long as it keeps your water to your set temp.. put wood in and walk away,,, trust me it was hard for me to just leave it alone at first too... But all part of ""learning your stove""
Take care
Matt