i guess you need to know a couple of things..first how did you size the exchanger for your home heating..you should know how many btu per hour you need to heat your home, now it is said that 180 degree water will deliver 10,000 btu per hour to your home per GPM so if you think on the coldest day of the year you will need 60,000 btu per hour then you should have an exchanger that can pull that much from your water and you should be able to deliver at least 6 pgm to attain that many btu
your blower speed will also have an impact on how many btu you pull from your exchanger (i am not sure how to figure that out)
i have an "inground water furnace' that has a 2 speed blower, it runs in low speed 24/7 and since i installed my OWB it has never had to kick into high speed. i have large ductwork because the water furnace needs to move a lot of air as it does not make very hot air when and if it ever runs. i have enough heat exchangers in the plenum for 140,000 btu but i know i never draw that much with the fan in low. my water comes to the house at 160 or so and with just the furnace drawing heat it leaves at about 150, if the house is calling for heat and the doemestic water is also running the return will drop another 10
i have seen my stoves temp on a cold night and when using doemestic water and the furnace drop the temp of the OWB 5 to 7 degrees below the "blower on" temp before the OWB starts to catch up
as for sweet spot..i have no idea. i tend to lean towards that most indoor boilers say to keep your return no more than 20 degrees cooler than your delivery so i think that may be a target for us as well?
i think (not 100 percent certain) my pump is delivering about 5 or 6 gpm
i guess i would say ..oversize your exchanger (most do anyway as you should fill yoru plenum to prevent cool air from going around it)
pump enough water to keep near the 20 degree differential between feed and return.
just my thoughts..im sure others do differently