I'm a boiler guy but do know enough about hot air to understand your post, you are right about the forced air blower, it should come on any time the furnace gets to its setpoint-150 and should shut off at its low setpoint-around 100 degrees, this is usually acomplished using what is called a snapdisc that is placed on the jacket aka heat exchanger, that part all sounds right. You seem to be having trouble with the fire overheating the heat exchanger, the # 1 reason for overheating is that the air never shuts off on the intake side, here are a few reasons this may be happening, tall stack increasing the draft and pulling the air in through the intake system, door gaskets leaking allowing fresh air into the burn chamber, draft control inoperative, if you have an extended stack on the stove you may want to start by checking the draft, it should be about .10 inches in a water column (manometer) your oil service tech can check this for you. If the draft is to high it can be reduced by installing a barometric damper on the stack( the flapper on an oil boiler or furnace) your oil service guy can help with this as well, if you have any more questions you may PM me with your phone # and we can talk.